Damn You Modern Technology!

I've always been a little slow (when it comes to new gadgets). I'd be perfectly content if all things were done on stone tablets and those tin can phones. And let's just abolish cars and do the old horse and buggy thang.

I was one of the last people I knew to get a cell phone, but as soon as I got it I couldn't live without it. When it accidently fell into the subway tracks one night, I seriously considered jumping down to rescue it. Of course, I'm only 5 feet, so getting back up could be difficult, and i was wearing a skirt and a white shirt, but that was a small price to pay to get my lifeline back. It was only after a guy nearby saw me looking distressed that he actually jumped down to get it.

"Here ya go," he said and walked away.

B'scuse me? He didn't want anything out of this, like say, my phone number? I started going through my bag looking for anything I could give him as a reward.

"Listen, I have a half eaten sandwich. Or do you want my book? I'm not quite done it but it's really good. Or would you like some of my jokes? Or my virignity?"

In the end, he just looked kind of shy and uncomfortable and refused any of my rewards.

My grandmother seems to suffer from technologaphobia as well. But then again, she's up there in years, so she has an excuse. We spent an interesting afternoon getting her profile up on JDate as she is single and looking to mingle. Nothing like getting to know much your grandmother "likes to party" and whether she likes her men "ripped or move to love." I accidently checked off that she likes to rollerblade which ended up getting her a floury of unwanted responses.

And after much coaxing, it looks like I have my very own blog. Is this a good idea? Maybe not. I'm afraid I'll forget that anyone with access to the World Wide Webs--as our president likes to say--can take a look and read all about my embarrassing dealings in life. Then again, most of my dealings are public enough that perfect strangers can partake anyway. So if anyone is reading, hope you enjoy. If nothing else, I can guarantee that you reading this will waste at least a couple of minutes of your day. Sheesh.