My Grillz

TACOMA, Washington (AP) -- Government lawyers tried to remove and confiscate the gold dental work known as "grills" or "grillz" from the mouths of two men facing drug charges.

Apparently it's standard procedure to seize assets in order to prevent suspects from trying to move or hide valuables or evidence. And the lawyers thought the grills snapped out like a retainer, which some, but not all grills do.

Now, maybe these guys aren't subscribers to Vibe magazine, thus they are not down with the most current way rappers spend their insane incomes, but assuming all that money just pops out of the suspect's mouth seems a bit silly to me. I mean, if I'm investing thousands of dollars in my mouth jewelry, you better believe that no one is going to be snag those things out of my mouth when I'm sleeping!

The suspects were apparently in a car on the way to the dentist when they called their lawyers to try and stop the seizure. And my favorite part was the lawyer's statement:

"It sounds like Nazi Germany when they were removing the gold teeth from the bodies, but at least then they waited until they were dead," Richard J. Troberman, a forfeiture specialist and past president of the Washington Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers, said.

Hmmm. Aren't we being a little dramatic, Mr. Troberman? Sure, the seizure seems a bit extreme, but we’re talking about them seizing jewelry: it’s not like they’re taking the suspects’ braces or glass eye or fake leg.

I just don’t get it. Some people are going to the dentist and getting their retirement policy welded into their teeth, and I’m afraid to go to the dentist at all.