How to Ruin a Girl's Day in Two Seconds

I realize that I don't look particularly intimidating, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy advice from strangers. I was walking down the street yesterday and a guy on the street says to me "don't look so sad. It can't be that bad."

I have a couple issues with that comment. First of all, I wasn't aware that I looked sad. I like to think that I look distinguished, or intelligent, or hell, even pretty. That's just my face.

Secondly, what if what I'm thinking about is that bad? What if I had an accident and I am unable to smile? What if my dog just died? What if I just lost my job and then was robbed at gunpoint? What if I caught a whiff of something that reminded me of a wistful memory?

And lastly, why is my face any of your business? I don't go up to homeless people and say, "don't look sad, homeless man. It can't be that bad! I mean, sure, you don't have a home, but at least you have those cats!" Or "don't look so happy, ma'm. Your shoes completely clash with your outfit."

I think the policy is: my face, my business. Besides, frowning burns more calories then smiling. Maybe I'm just on a diet.