Some Life Lessons

Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah, under pressure from Islamists, has warned the media against showing pictures of Saudi women.

"There are photographs published in some newspapers ... and one needs to think if he would want his daughter, sister or wife to appear like that. Of course, no one would," the king was quoted as saying at a meeting with newspaper editors late on Monday.

These are pictures of women with their hair covered but their faces exposed. Their faces, not their punanies. And this is what's plaguing Saudi Arabia right now. This is what Saudi fathers worry that their daughters will grow up and do.

And as for the US? Our fathers worry that we'll grow up, get drunk, and end up on their copy of "Girls Gone Wild." Or worse, have daddy issues, and end up on their copy of "Busty Broads Lesbian Gang Bang 13."

And they say we have nothing in common with our brethren in the Middle East....

In other news:

Bears in a Netherlands zoo killed and devoured a monkey in front of horrified visitors. Zookeepers said a bear tried unsuccessfully to shake the monkey loose, ignoring attempts by keepers to distract it. The bear then climbed up and grabbed the monkey, mauling it to death and bringing it to its concrete den, where three bears ate it.

So let me get this straight: People are surprised that animals eat each other. Is the food chain really a new phenomenon? I mean, the animals are housed separately for a reason. We clog up traffic to watch the remains of a gruesome car accident, this isn't any different.

And really, I'm hoping that if your kid is excited to go to the zoo, it's because he's been watching Animal Planet and has some ideas how things work. If not, perhaps it's time for mommy and daddy and read a little Darwin's Survival of the Fittest as the next bedtime story.

This commentary has been brought to you by your friendly blogging vegetarian...