B'scuse me, indeed!
I've been in quite a few debates over the years as to whether boys and girls can be friends. I've come to the conclusion that it's very possible.
Sure, it helps if one or both of you are in a relationship. Or if you've smooched in the past so it would just be recyling. Or if one of you has a hump, bad teeth, and/or an extra nipple to keep things platonic. (By the way, when I was little, I thought the word was plutonic. I'm a genius). But sometimes, there's just nothing there.
And I have a problem when people say that they don't need any more friends. Granted, for some reason, that seems to bring to mind an image of people rounding up friends like cattle. But I've always loved meeting new people. My friends in college used to joke when I'd disappear for a few hours because it would usually mean that I'd met someone interesting and we hit it off.
"Did you have a good conversation? " they'd ask. (And no, conversation doesn't mean nookie.)
So with all this in mind, I was very suprised by an email I received recently.
You see, I ran into a guy last week that I went to camp with. I had actually run into the guy a few years before, but thought he was living in Florida. (See "Strange Encounters of the Underground Kind" for that exchange.) This time he was having dinner with a lovely lady and I said hi, and we talked briefly, and I introduced him to my friend. Then we parted ways and that was that.
The next day, I found that the guy had not only found me online, but he had emailed me. After the basic chatter he wrote:
"Do you want to go out for a drink sometime? I noticed you introduced the guy last night as your "friend" not as your "boyfriend"..."
Which was true, because they guy is my friend.
So I promptly emailed him back and let him know that I have a very lovely boyfriend, but I'd love to catch up.
His response shocked me. (And keep in mind I've lived in New York for a few years, so it takes a lot.)
First he thanked me for being honest. Then he said he didn't think it would be such a good idea because he didn't think my boyfriend would appreciate it. I thought it was very considerate of him to worry about the state of my relationship.
Then he hit me with the doozy, writing:
"If there's no possibility that this would eventually lead to sex, I'm really not interested. Sorry. I don't need any more friends. That's just how guys are. Good luck with everything."
And insert witty retort here.