Where to Start?

I'm back from that magical, dumpling filled, squatter toilet land they call China. And let me tell you, it was quite the experience. According to my jet-lagged body, it's tomorrow. So many stories to tell, so let's start from the end.

Flying is never fun. This task is even less so when there are babies involved. Sure they're cute, but boy can they scream. And I know it's not their fault but they're hard to escape on such a mode of transportation.

On my flight back, I sat behind the most adorable little chinese kids. One such precious item was a little boy who was about 2. The only thing I didn't get were his pants. They looked like normal pants until you realized there was a slit from the butt to the waist. You know, kind of like the chaps that Prince wears. Now, I figured, sure, he's a bit young for the rock star attire but whatever floats his boat.

Halfway through the flight I feel something warm on my foot. And I freak out. And that's because I know exactly what it is. That's right, this little bundle of joy had managed to pee not only onto the seat, but through the seat onto my foot behind him.

And I knew it was pee right away because he had done it earlier to the guy next to me.

Now maybe you think I'm an idiot for not changing seats, but frankly, I didnt' think that pee, like lightning, would strike twice.

Even better, the flight attendants, who were helpful but were totally laughing at us, tried to explain that it was just part of chinese culture. I assume they were talking about the buttless pants, because I don't think golden showers on tourists' feet have ever been a local custom. I know, insert R. Kelly reference here.