The life and times of an ethnically ambiguous little lady.

Monday, September 25, 2006

I think I'm in love...

No, I'm not getting married.

It's my landlord-to-be. He's, well, kind of dreamy. And I'm not talking about looks, I'm talking about how he's a charmer.

I looked at my lease and it said no utilities included so we questioned him about it, as we'd been told otherwise. His response?

"People need the basics to live. Of course it's included!"

I felt like one of those battered wives who is just learning to trust again.

And when I asked about pets like boyfriends he asked, "Well, do you keep him chained up at night?"

But I'm a lady, so of course I said, "that's none of your business."

Then he hit me with the doozie. "We're very family oriented," he explained. "The backyard isn't finished yet, but when it's nice outside we'll have lots of cookouts and you guys are invited."

I almost started to cry.

This would be dramatically different from my current landlord, who not only refuses to let us use the backyard under any circumstances (which is her right), but her sister insists of sunning herself outside our window in an entirely too small bikini. And she's no spring chicken. Not such a nice thing to wake up to on a weekend.

And when they're not sunning their pasty white selves, they continue to add to their backyard decor. At the moment it's replacing the concrete with bricks so I wake up to the sound of splitting rocks during the week. Yup, love the sound of a jackhammer in the morning.

So it looks like there may be a fairy-tale ending to this nightmare.

Well, after I get through the move anyway.

And if my landlord ever calls me back so we can get our deposit.

I'm just hoping this doesn't end up as a Law and Order based on a true story episode.


Blogger The Brooklyn Sea Hag said...

Hello, yes, can you please give me the name and number of your new landlord? I think I'm in love too.

12:38 PM


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